Jewish Dating: Rules for a Successful Shidduch from Meet Mazal
Today's boundaries have expanded and many people dreaming of meeting a partner and creating a family talk about how difficult dating has become. This refers, of course, to dating suitable candidates – men and women who have Jewish roots, observe traditions, and take life and family values seriously.
Unfortunately, today our social circle is quite limited. Mostly, these are personal and work acquaintances within the same city. This is why the world of Jewish dating today marks a phenomenon known as the 'shidduch crisis' - a situation in which people are unable to find a suitable Jewish partner for a long time.
What exactly is a shidduch?
A shidduch is Jewish dating, the matchmaking of a man and a woman who dream of a family, through a third party - a shadchan (matchmaker) or shadchanit (matchmaker if it’s a woman). In selecting pairs, a shadchan typically gathers comprehensive information about candidates - age, family, health, education, habits, life views, character traits, etc. The mission of a shadchan is very responsible; their goal is to help you build a true, strong Jewish family.
Typically, such matchmakers are passionate about their work. They are well-versed in the nuances of Jewish dating, have extensive experience in matching couples, a good intuition, and happily assist Jewish singles of any age in finding their other half and creating a family. A successful shidduch is considered one that ends in marriage. Below are several rules for successful Jewish matchmaking from Meet Mazal.
1. Prepare for the shidduch in advance.
First and foremost, it is important to understand yourself and determine what exactly you expect from the meeting, what kind of person you want to find, and whether you are truly internally ready to start a family. The more you understand yourself, the easier the shidduch will be for you.
2. First impressions matter.
Cleanliness, neatness, and being well-groomed always make a good impression on others.
When speaking with a shadchan, it is important to be polite and truthful, clearly answer questions, and also prepare contacts of several people who have known you for a long time and can provide a character reference.
3. Be patient.
After the first meeting with a shadchan, do not immediately expect a flurry of offers and options. Is it appropriate to periodically remind about yourself? Yes, it is quite appropriate.
4. Blind dates.
Remember, the time and place for your first meeting are determined by the shadchan. Usually, this is some lively, crowded place - such as a cafe or the home of good acquaintances, sometimes it can be a small walk.
5. Never express dislike.
Even if you did not like the person next to you at all – you did not feel any sympathy or that 'chemistry,' felt tension in the conversation, or noticed some physical barrier (height, weight, or any other features that do not suit you), in no case should you cut the meeting short. You should endure and wait out the obligatory forty minutes, conversing on neutral topics.
6. Was the meeting successful?
In any case, it is advisable to behave reservedly and modestly, keeping a distance. And the next morning, it is definitely necessary to call the shadchan, thank them for their participation, and report on the positive results of the meeting.
7. Mazal tov, a wedding!
If your shidduch ends in marriage, then, according to Jewish laws, both sides must pay the intermediary a fee for all the efforts applied to this task (even if there was no contract, and the efforts of the shadchan were minimal).
Enjoy your Jewish dating – and may all your dreams come true with Meet Mazal!